Tuesday, January 26, 2010


I'm exhausted. I cannot stay awake for more than 2 hours before I want to go take a nap. Plus, I have been going to bed early, without sleeping pills, and sleeping all night. This is so unusual for me! Any suggestions?

I'm still fat/bloated from the progesterone shots which in turn makes me already look pregnant, which is a little embarrassing. I shouldn't look this pregnant when I'm not really that far along. I'm getting good at hiding my belly with jackets and sweatshirts. Nothing like drug-induced fatness!

Okay, almost nap time.

Needle count: 59
Acupuncture: 95

Saturday, January 23, 2010

A day of anticipation

Well, it has finally come. Today was our big day. I couldn't sleep all night last night. The alarm went off bright and early and off we went. The trip to SLC was horrendous this morning. The roads were pure ice. It was a very tense morning on top of already being a tense morning. After they drew my blood we went to my brother's house to help him move. I was glad I had something to keep my mind off of just waiting for the phone call with the test results. I kept thinking I just wanted to get home because if it came back negative I would be a mess. We waited and waited all morning. Finally as I was bringing some power strips into Josh's house I could hear Ryan say, "you're kidding." I didn't know who he was talking to but I could hear the excitement in his voice. He turned around and saw me and said, "we're pregnant!" I fell to the floor and started crying. I couldn't believe it! I got up and put my arms around my love and held him. Then I talked briefly with the sweet nurse who was very excited for us as well. My dad walked in and all I could say to him was, "it's positive!" He gave me a huge hug. It was all just a very exciting and unreal moment. We are still in complete shock. The only bad thing is I still have to do these evil shots for 6 more weeks, but I'm sure it's all going to be well worth it.

Thank you all for your prayers and support. It has made this process much easier to deal with. I'm sorry if we couldn't call all of you today to tell you the news in person.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Nothing to update

Sorry for the lack of posts this week. There has really been nothing new to report unless you want to hear about how ornery and uncomfortable I have been. I still feel like my buns are on fire as well as my upper thighs. It hurts to wear anything that touches them. Even the softest of fabrics feels like sandpaper on my skin. This is all due to the evil progesterone shots. We find out soon if this worked, so just keep being patient. You will soon know too.

Needle count: 55
Acupunture: 95

Monday, January 18, 2010

In my parent's bedroom

Yep, you heard it right. We did it in my parents bedroom. Not that, you dirty mind. A shot, of course! The clock rang 7 and we went and locked ourselves in their bedroom for an all around good time of fun shots in the butt. It hurt, but my only motivation to get it over with was the caramel and fruit waiting for me downstairs. Oh, it was divine! What a reward for my shot! I think I could do that everynight.

I feel really bloated at this point. Either something is growing in my uterus or I am eating too much food and getting fat. My belly is definitely starting to feel fat. Hopefully this is a good sign. Still keeping our fingers crossed.

Needle count: 51
Acupuncture: 78

Saturday, January 16, 2010

In a bathroom stall

Last night Ryan and I decided to celebrate his first paycheck by going to our favorite restaurant, Carrabba's. We went with our friends, Dari and Chris, and Devin and Lisa. Josh was there too of course. Well, the clock struck 7 and it was time for shots. My choices are: Go to the parking lot and shoot up in the car or bribe the girls to go to the bathroom with me and give it to me in there. I was a little nervous not having Ryan give me the shot, but then again I'm at the point where it's just like, get it over with. I don't really care who gives it to me as long as it's not me giving it to me. So, off the 3 girls went to the bathroom. We had to wait for the handicapped stall so we could all go in there. I'm sure this was quite the site to the other patrons in the restroom with seeing all 3 of us going into one stall. I can only imagine what was going through their heads. I elected Dari to do the deed. She was a champ. She was so nervous, but she did a great job. It didn't even hurt! There's nothing like having a shot in the bathroom stall though. Hopefully we don't have to do that again. One bathroom stall experience was enough. I kept thinking the manager was going to get complaints from the other people in the restroom about our weird behavior and we were going to get kicked out. Thankfully we did not and dinner was spectacular.

Needle count: 50
Acupuncture: 78

Friday, January 15, 2010

Still shooting up

Well, things are going well around here. I've had a little bit of cramping which was quite scary, but they claim that is a normal thing to happen. I'm now through with bedrest, unless the cramps come back, then straight back to bed I go. It has been a very lazy week. I haven't left the confines of our home to go anywhere since Monday. I'm starting to go crazy! I want to go to the mall or out to dinner or something! I have to bribe people to come visit me because I'm so bored.

I'm still having my daily dose of progesterone in a very evil form of a shot. This is now an intramuscular shot that I can only get in my butt. My butt is all bruised and sore from shots. Last night I was trying to pick something up off the floor and totally whacked my shot site on the bed post. I wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. It hurt SO BAD! I recommend not doing that. Ever.

p.s. I'm leaving it a surprise as to when we find out if this worked. I'll let you know when it happens. Just be patient. I have to be patient and wait, so so do you.

Needle count: 49
Acupuncture: 69

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Embryo Update

Well, the 3 embryos we were watching overnight failed to perform. They were not of good enough quality to freeze. This means no extra babies to freeze and try again if this round doesn't work. I'm a little freaked out about it. Now I feel a lot of pressure for this round to work. Keep your fingers crossed for us that this round works!

Monday, January 11, 2010

Embryo Transfer

Today was a very special day for me and Ryan. We got to go once again to SLC this morning. We were way early for our appointment but they took us right back. I dressed in my sheet of shame and the $10K slippers and we waited. Then it came. The picture of my babies. It took everything I had not to cry when I saw the picture. (sorry, picture of a picture) Science is spectacular. They doctor came in, Dr. P-J. Loved her by the way. She was absolutely amazing. I got into every woman's favorite position in the stirrups and then the doctor inserted a catheter through my cervix. It took a couple of tries since my uterus is shaped and tipped funny, but all went well. They put up a live video feed of the embryolgist sucking up the 2 best embryos so we could see it and then he brought them to us. In they went and TAH DAH! It was all over. Just like that. The doctor made me all cozy with like 10 blankets and then let me rest for a while. Ryan said a most beautiful prayer and I cried. It was a heavenly day. Now for bedrest. Today has been nice. Dr. P-J gave me Valium so I have been relaxed and sleepy all day. Ryan has been aboslutely amazing. I have to admit that I have the most amazing husband in the world! He went and got me J. Dawgs for lunch. Oh, it was delicious. (best hot dog joint in Provo!)

Ryan and I feel so blessed with the overwhelming love and support we have received through all of this. We are so grateful for all of you! Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

Now comes the hard part. Waiting for the pregnancy test. Wait. Wait. Wait.

By the way, out of the 6 embryos we had, 2 were in excellent condition. Those were what they transferred today. We had 1 quit growing and 3 are still growing but not the best quality. They will update us tomorrow as to if they are worth saving or not.

Needle count: 45
Acupuncture: 69

Friday, January 8, 2010

And the results are......

Out of 7 eggs retrieved, 6 are fertilized and growing in their petri dishes! Can you believe it? I thought we'd maybe get 1 or 2 out of the 7, but 6?!!! The plan as of now is to transfer on Monday. We will hear from the embryologist again on Sunday as to how our babies are growing. Keep your fingers crossed that they stay healthy. Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

A Candid Perspective from a Husband

When Ashley and I arrived, they quickly escorted us back to a corner room and and began to look for veins on Ashley which is not a simple process. Ashley does not have good veins and I even scanned her arms before the nurse entered the room and told the nurse good luck in finding a vein, but luckily she was able to find one. As Ashley started to receive her IV meds I warned everyone in the room that she can become coocoo for loco puffs (a fruit loop)! Boy, did she not let us down. As soon as she was high on Versed she said a few inappropriate things which I will not mention for the sake of our righteous viewers. They were embarrasing and I expected everyone in the room to laugh but no one reacted and an awkard silence fell upon the room. I put my head down and laughed internally and felt awkard at the same time.........The procedure did not look comfortable with all the sponges used to clean her internally and externally and watching the catheter needle navigate through her ovaries, piercing and sucking, piercing and sucking and did I mention piercing and sucking looked very painful! It did not look fun but Ashley was a champ and held still and calm through it all. The doctor awarded her "all star of the week" status.
After her procedure I was escorted to the "male section" of the building to provide another sample of my essence or should I say love potion. Let me tell you, the magazines they provide you are very dirty and actually discourage their purpose. It makes for quite the experience. (sarcasm included). I'm glad it's over to be honest.......
In closing I just want to tell my wife how much I love her and how proud I am of her for enduring the countless injections, procedures and prescribed periods of non-sexual activity. She truly is a champ and I'm lucky to have such a patient and hard working, supportive wife. If anyone deserves children it is Ashley. I love you Ashley very much!!!!!!!!!!!

The Egg Retrieval

Did yesterday really happen? I believe I was in a drug-induced coma for the entirety of the day. Here's what happened.

We woke up at 6:15. Well, the alarm went off at 6:15 with good intentions to get up. Finally at about 6:35 we got up. I brushed my teeth and put on some comfy clothes and then we climbed in the car for our long journey to the U of U. We had to be there by 8:00. We arrived about 5 minutes early and they took me straight back. I changed into my awesome hospital gown and what I like to call the $10K slippers (ugly tan slipper socks with the grips on the bottom). The nurse came in and hooked me up to an IV. Then I signed my consent forms and off we went to surgery. Ryan got to sit right by me the entire time which I was very grateful for. They placed me in the most awkward position imaginable and the room filled with people. Nothing like being exposed to the world. This is where heaven began. The drugs. I LOVE conscious sedation. You're awake but remember nothing. It feels like love when they put it in your IV. I remember the doctor cleaning me and then that's about it. I do remember the procedure hurting, but I don't remember exact details of why or what went on. Ryan said I said a few things that embarrassed him. Haha. That's what happens when I'm drugged up. Apparently I don't know when to keep my mouth shut. Next thing I know, I wake up with an oxygen mask on and in an empty room. All I remember is I just wanted to turn off the music. For some reason music was playing in my room and it was driving me insane! I just wanted to relax.

Ryan soon joined me. I was so happy to see him. He told me that they only got 7 eggs, which is a little less than we were expecting, but at least they got 7. We were hoping for 10-12 so we could save some for future use. Not all 7 are going to be useable. Some will not mature, therefore we may end up with 1 or 2 useable eggs out of this 7. It's a one-time shot it looks like. No eggs to save, just 1 time to get it right. STRESSFUL!

They finally let me eat some treats before I left. I was starving! I hadn't had anything to eat or drink for hours at this point. Saltine and graham crackers never tasted so good.

After being at the clinic for more than 2 hours, it was finally time to go home. Out came the IV. I changed into my clothes and told Ryan, "I'm taking the socks. I paid $10,000 for these." So, I came home with the ugly tan slipper socks and I wore them all day.

We made the long treck home, got some Percocet from the drug store and went home. I climbed into bed and was out for some time. I remember waking up feeling quite nauseous and all I wanted were some crackers. All we had were potato chips. That worked. At least I didn't puke everywhere. I just remember feeling really uncomfortable all day. It hurt to stand up. It hurt to sit down. As long as I was holding still, I was fine. Mom brought over some yummy Papa Murphy's pizza and fruit. I ate a lot of it. I was still starving.

Last night was also my first progesterone shot. The actual shot itself wasn't too bad. It was 20 minutes later when the burn started. It was like my back end was on fire. It hurt to touch it. Let's just say sleep last night was nonexistent. My butt hurt from the shot, my stomach hurt from surgery, and my hormones were all over the place so I was HOT and uncomfortable.

As I write this, I feel really gross. It's 7:30 in the morning and I'm attempting to work. I feel like throwing up. I think I'll need to take today off. I don't know what I was thinking coming back to work and attempting to work an 8-hour day.

We should hear from the embryologist tomorrow morning as to how many of our babies are growing well and when we are going to transfer. It will either be Saturday or Monday. This is weird, but I felt sad leaving my "babies" at the doctor's office. I had been taking such good care of them for so long and then BAM! they're all gone and no longer under my control. All I can do is hope and pray that they take care of my babies.

Needle count: 39
Acupuncture: 44

Monday, January 4, 2010

Day 22: Good news

Well, I went to the doctor today and they told me, "Ashley, you are the star of the week." I also heard such things as "this looks excellent" and "everything looks great!" It was a very positive visit today. My ovaries are huge and I can sure feel it! I'm kind of uncomfortable lately. I also had to have my blood drawn to check my estrogen level to make sure it was high enough to do the retrieval. It was. The good thing about this? NO MORE 3-a-day SHOTS! YEAH! I have 1 shot tonight which is the hCG trigger shot, and then no shots tomorrow! We are scheduled for egg retrieval Wednesday morning. They'll even give me sedation so I don't have to remember it. That means I get to sleep all day! See, something to look forward to everyday this week. It looks like Monday will be the day of transfer, but it could be as early as Saturday as long as my petri dish babies grow well. We're very excited!

Needle count: 37
Acupuncture: 35

Friday, January 1, 2010

Day 20: Day 5 of stimulation

My new name is Pin Cushion Ashley. All we do around here are shots! I've had 16 just this week alone and the week isn't even over yet. All 4 extremities are now killing me. My strawberries (ovaries) are growing. I can definitely feel it. It's quite uncomfortable. It's a dang good thing the discomfort doesn't last the full 24 hours. I'm still extremely exhausted. New Years Eve consisted of us coming home at 11:00 and me falling right to sleep. Happy 2010! I slept in until 9:30 this morning and it was heaven! Today has been a pretty good day. I only had to take 1 nap instead of 2 or 3 like the rest of the days this week. Yes, I said 2 or 3. I can't even work for longer than 2-3 hours before I need to go rest because my brain is just too tired. I'm physically worn out. This is a good sign right? I'm very excited to see the doctor on Monday and hear what they have to say. Hopefully Monday will be our lucky day.

Happy New Year everybody! This year is going to be spectacular. I can feel it!

Needle count: 30
Acupuncture: 35