Hi, my name is Infertile Myrtle and I'm an infertile-aholic.
Hello world! I bet you missed me didn't you? Well, good news. Infertile Myrtle is BACK! Granted I am not going to do in vitro again this month or anything, but I'm here anyway in all of my infertile glory. Hello world!
This last year has been interesting to say the least. Getting pregnant was a-maz-ing! Life was absolutely fantastic. At 20 weeks gestation, we found out our son had a condition that was "incompatible with life." Hmmm.... How do you handle that diagnosis? Well, lots of tears and prayers.
On August 11, 2010, I gave birth to Kingston, 2 pounds 2 ounces, and Scarlet 3 pounds 12 ounces. Kingston lived for 73 minutes and then passed away while I held him in my arms. What an experience. Never did I think that not only would I have to deal with infertility, but also the very significant loss of my first born child. Ouch.
Immediately after birth, I was ready to do it all over again. I wanted more kids right away. Now five months later, it still really hasn't changed at all. I would love more kids. For now, I know that just isn't in the cards for us. Scarlet may be an only child, but we hope she will soon have siblings. Our plan? No birth control ever again. Fantastic! I hated that stuff anyway. Do I think I'll get pregnant on my own? No. Do I hope I do? Of course.
When I think about having to do in vitro again in the future, I just get frustrated and angry. I'm grateful we have the technology to do it, but at the same time, it is horribly expensive and physically exhausting. I just wish I could be normal. Haha! What is normal anyway?
For now, I will just have wishes and lots of love for my only living child (not saying I don't love Kingston, because I adore him). Let's see how long wishes can sustain me. I wish.....