Day 3: AcuFUNcture

Today Ryan gave me my shot while I was laughing at him. Probably not such a good idea. It hurt 10 times worse while laughing.

Also, today was filled with lots of needles from acupuncture. Sang (Sang is my friend who does acupuncture) came over, taped my feet and did a simple acupuncture pattern to help regulate my digestion and also to help my headaches. I don't understand Chinese medicine all that much, but man does it work. I can always tell when I'm not doing it because I start to feel like crap.

I did get a tiny rash from my injection today. It was weird because it didn't start itching for a long time. I even asked Ryan if he had given me my shot because I couldn't feel it itch like usual. Then it came at me with a vengence.

Needle count: 3
Acupuncture: 9

Day 2: Dear Lupron

Dear Lupron,

So far, you and I have a great relationship. You haven't given me headaches or hardly any side effects yet. Thanks for that! Just want to let you know that you need to keep it up. I'm taking good care of you. I have hidden you behind the butter in the fridge. I figure if you are there, you will never get too cold and freeze on me. This would be a tragedy for us both.

Let's keep our relationship great, okay?

Loves,

Ashes

Needle count: 2

Day 1: Ready? 3, 2..... WAIT!

Well, we have officially started the shots today. I don't mind shots, ever, but for some reason I always get really nervous when Ryan gives them to me. Anyway, here's a little how it went:

Ryan: Ready?

Me: (Bearing my belly for the world to see) Yeah. Wait! Not in my tummy. Okay, just do it below the belly button. Wait! Wait! Not in my tummy. (I think I was actually kicking my legs and throwing a little tantrum)

Ryan: (With needle in hand and a most annoyed look on his face like "can't we just do this already?") Really? You're not even going to feel it.

Me: Yeah, I don't want it in my belly (screaming at this point and almost in tears).

I quickly pulled down my pants and wiped my leg with alcohol and told him it would be better in my thigh. 1, 2, 3. It's over. So much for being brave. Maybe tomorrow will be better?

Please stop pounding

The birth control I am on is starting to give me horrendous headaches. They are just complete evil. Nothing makes them go away. I feel like I need to lay in bed all day covered by 10 blankets and take Lortab and Tylenol just to be somewhat comfortable. Hopefully this passes once I'm not taking these stupid little evil pills. I'm sure there will be a full bag of new symptoms with these other meds, but let's just pray the headaches go away. I can't even focus when I have them. I just want to cry because they don't leave me alone. It's going to be over soon. It's going to be over soon.

On a more exciting note, my Lupron is supposed to be coming today! We'll see if and when it gets delivered. The delivery system around here is so unpredictable. Sometimes the UPS man comes at like 7 or later. I feel bad for that guy. What a long day. I start my Lupron shots on the 13th! It's finally starting to feel like we're really doing this.

It's so real

For those of you who read this blog, I have to tell you, life isn't always sunshine in my world. I'm not about making this blog all rainbows and butterflies. This is real life. It's my life. My emotions are real. I get happy, sad, frustrated, angry, etc. I express those feelings and emotions on this blog. If you don't like it, don't read it. I'm not trying to offend anybody, just journal our journey and release some stress through blogging.

Also, there is a donation button on the sidebar if you ever feel like helping us pay our medical bills. No pressure, but we surely appreciate any help we can get.

What would it be like?

Lately I have been wondering what it would be like to just get pregnant the first month we started trying. I know this is impossible for us, but I would love to know what it's like. What it's like not to have to have a million tests, lots of people looking at me down there, lots of discomfort, lots of medication side effects. What's it like? I see the people at church who have been married for a year and are expecting their first or have a little one already. Seriously? I have been trying to get pregnant probably longer than you've known each other. It's times like this that I get very down about my situation. It will wear off soon. It always does. Sorry, just had to vent. It always seems a little harder when it's around the holidays. I have no child to get excited for Santa with, no child to share my traditions with, but hopefully soon it will happen. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Whatever you say

Today was an interesting day. I finally got to call our in vitro nurse and tell them to get our schedule all ready to go. She called me back an hour later and told me that our in vitro would end up in the last 2 weeks of December which is when they don't do egg retrievals. Of course we would end up in the last 2 weeks. The only 2 weeks of the year when we can't do it. Our options were to wait until next cycle (this last cycle was over 60 days) or just take 5 straight weeks of birth control. I opted for the birth control. This should now put us into the first couple of weeks in January. Now if my body will just do what it's supposed to, everything will be great. I get to attend an injection class on the 19th of this month to learn how to give myself shots. Of course they only offer those classes on Thursdays, the only day Ryan can't go with me. I'm going to have to bribe somebody else to go with me, even if it's just for moral support. I've already given my brother a guilt trip as to why he needs to come with me. That's a lot to ask of a single guy. Especially when he would have to take off work to go with me. What a good sport.

We got approved for our loan. The loan company will cover most of the procedure, but not quite all of it unfortunately. This means I'll have to find some extra money somewhere. Plus, the loan won't pay for meds, which are about $1800 at the cheapest so I've got to find that money too. Has anybody figured out how to grow money yet? Just curious.