More blood work

I made my journey to my usual hospital of choice today, or hospital of my insurance's choice, Timpanogos Regional Hospital. The girl registering me today did not smile once at me. Come on woman! Life is really not that bad. At least you have a job. I wanted to smack her just a little bit. She totally brought me down a notch. She then made me wait in the waiting room. Did you know there is "well waiting" and "sick waiting"? That's right, they totally had the waiting room divided into 2 sections. I chose the "well waiting" area even though I've had a cold. I didn't want to sit in some H1N1 contaminated seat. Not gonna do it.

I liked the lady who drew my blood today. She was very fast and accurate. It's always nice to have somebody draw your blood who knows what they are doing. She attempted to put the sticky tape on my arm (which with my hairy arms is an awful idea), but I quickly told her no sticky stuff. I like the colored stuff that doesn't stick. Whoever invented that was a GENIUS! Hello! I wish they would have had that when I was a kid instead of band-aids. I still hate pulling those off. I used to sit in the tub just to make them less sticky so it wouldn't hurt as bad to pull it off. Yes, kind of wussy.

I broke down today. It was the first time I have cried in a while. I'm not sure why either. I've been on "happy pills" to control my anxiety and have pretty much been emotionally void for the last month. My visiting teachers came over and I asked them to keep us in their thoughts and prayers while we go through this. They said a prayer before they left and it just touched me so deep. The spirit was definitely with us and I'm so grateful for those ladies. What a wonderful feeling it was to have them in my home and know they truly care about me. Thank you ladies! You know who you are!

Thank you to all of you too. You have no idea how much I appreciate your support and love through this ordeal. I receive multiple phone calls a day from loved ones asking how we are and what's next. I've got friends trying to figure out how to plant a tree that grows money. Thank you, you guys! You are the best. I honestly cannot tell you how much I love you all and appreciate you. xoxo -- Ashley

The doctor said.....

Our chances of conceiving naturally are practically nonexistent. He said where we have been trying for so long and we have tried so many different meds and procedures, that the penetration problem is probably our problem. Finally, an answer. However, our only option now is in vitro, which is quite costly. They put me on Provera which I will take for 10 days, then I start birth control (yes, it sounds weird, but it gives them total control of my ovaries). After birth control comes the shots. Oh boy! The shots! If all goes as planned, we should transfer embryos just before Christmas. Merry Christmas!

I still need to get some blood work completed (always more blood work), and stay positive. Good luck to us! I'm praying everyday that God will bless us with a little one to share our lives with.

The results are in....

Out of 15 eggs, none (0%) were penetrated. Morphology was all completely normal and everything else was perfect. Could this have been our problem the entire time? Possibly. We still have yet to talk to the doctor on the 19th. Oh how I am excited to talk to him. The thought that we could finally have an answer is exciting. Ryan, on the other hand, is in complete shock. May God bless him through this. I keep telling him that God would not give us this trial if he didn't think we could handle it. Everyday that goes by and I see how our relationship is growing and growing stronger, I know this is true. I'm sending love to that man I love and will always love. He's my everything. Muah, Babycakes!